3 Secrets to Building Boundaries

I have been posting about the parallels of the guitar accessories I mentioned in an earlier post and the accessories for living a successful life. In the last post, we read about the art of accessibility and how it can lead you to living a more successful life. Now we are going to look at the next item, the guitar case, and how it parallels with boundaries.


When we talk about boundaries, what is the first thought that comes to mind? Is it safety? Is it restriction? Or is it freedom? Boundaries are intended to free you from the foreseeable and unforeseeable future. We naturally establish boundaries based on our past fears, hurts, injuries, and failures. Any emotion, activity, or mistake that we don't want to live again in our lives are used to build boundaries. Here are three secrets to building boundaries.


1. The Secret of Knowing Reality- No matter what you say you believe about reality, setting your boundaries can reflect what you truly believe about reality. So the secret is to change your reality and this will help you in setting your personal boundaries. For example. I know that when I'm hungry or tired, I don't think or act the way I want to act or think. As a rule, the lack of sleep and food effect my interactions with others. My reality has meet with my belief and I have decided to never make major decisions without getting my sleep/food need meet first. I have learned to not even think about the problem or idea until those needs are met. In the past I would stumble all around the answers I needed when I was either hungry or sleepy. When I'm well rested and well feed, I make the best decisions. This maybe different for you. The only way you will find reality is being real with yourself and looking inward for a change. Line up your boundaries with the reality you have discovered to be true about yourself.

2. The Secret of Knowing Fear- Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. Some fear is good and it prevents us from causing ourselves physical and emotional pain. Some fear is bad and it prevents us from enjoying the exciting thrills and adventures in life. People who set boundaries out of fear say things like, "I might get hurt, I'll be embarrassed, what will they think, when the time is right I'll..." . We all have fears, it is a matter of setting our boundaries around good fear or bad fear. You do have a choice as to which fear you will believe in and let rule your life. If there is something that you truly want to do but are hung up on fear, then you are letting fear rule your life. What some people call boundaries are really walls they hid behind. Just on the other side are their passions and dreams. Your fear will be standing guard at the gate to your divine purpose, passions, and dreams. It is up to you to not let fear keep you from going through that gate!

3. The Secret of Knowing Freedom- What would you do if you woke up one morning to find yourself in a prison cell. You then noticed that the cell door is open and you can go through to find that every door leading to the outside is open. No one is trying to stop you from leaving. Would you go on to living your life the way you want or would you turn around and return to your cell and stay. The open cell represents false comfort and security.  I currently work at a prison as an officer. An inmate's security is important to the public as well as the inmate. You can set up your own boxed in prison and call it having boundaries but it is built out of fear not freedom. Your boundaries should always free you, not bound you. Even though the word bound is it's root word, healthy boundaries should free you to living a life of success. Ask your self, is this boundary I have in my life keeping me from my freedom or from being bound up by fear?



At least once or twice a year, everyone should question their boundaries. Note, I didn't say just cross them. Examine yourself daily. Ask yourself if you are truly free or if you are living your life based around fear. That is the journey. Examine, discover, pursue, engage, and live your life. Meditation, journaling, reflection, prayer, and focused study can help you discover things about yourself. Fear is the biggest enemy in the journey to be successful. Freedom should be our goal when setting boundaries and if it isn't we must ask ourselves what we truly want, life in our made up prisons or the excitement and adventure of life?



What kind of boundaries have you set in your life and how did you come to those boundaries? I can't wait to hear from you!

Share your comment and this post on Facebook and Twitter!